š¦"SHOWER SAGA SOLVED"š
UPCOMING: 7 Day Writing Sprint Starts Sunday [22.02.26] on ThE DAILY CHASE newsletter from Chasey Delaney! -Schizophrenic Writer From Manchester. xx
āEveryone is writing about all of this political stuff all day, and Iām over here likeā¦. āIāmmma WrrrrritOR! (checking out here and writing on THE DAILY CHASE newsletter from 22.02.26-28.02.28 before my ā10-day-HIATUSā in March) also, choking on ALL these āHOLIDAYSā-baby!ā
THIS LETTER MIGHT BE HUGE AND LENGTHY - ONE OF THE LONGEST (maybe?) IāVE DONE (thatās what she said!?! LOL) JUST IN CASE IT IS A LONG ONE, TO GET ALL CONTENT PLEASE OPEN EMAIL ON YOUR BROWSER OR READ IT DIRECTLY THROUGH THE APP. THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING & SUBSCRIBING. XXxxx
SATURDAY 21 FEBRUARY 2026
Dear Chasers!ā¦š¦
I figured it out about the whole shower head being shifted about, the curtain being wet whenever I went out, the lower placement and shit. Following my fears covered in this letter:
I didnāt question him about the shower signals or anything, that would be stupid, he might have told me all this but Iād have never believed it. Hereās what I was allowing myself to believe before discovering the truth behind it all. Hereās what I was saying the other day about him never using the shower but SOMEBODY had been whilst I was out of our house!! Was he cheating?
I found out by accident as I was sitting on the toilet and he came in and did the thing. It all clicked in and made sense!
If I have asked him about why the shower head kept being moved, why the curtain was wet, why this or that, he might have just said what I found out by mistake, but Iād doubt his take on it. Think it was him ācoming up with a quick cover-up answerā as a verification for his innocence āstoryā. I wouldnāt have believed him.
I would never have accepted it as proof he wasnāt cheating. I would have been impressed at him thinking on his feet and coming up with quite a plausible conclusion to my queries.
āClever cuntā I might have thought, making me even more insecure and upset that this beautiful man with a brilliant mind should have turned disloyal and against me. He doesnāt have my back and no longer needs or wants me to stand by his side, heās never going to come back to mine. Iād feel the pain even more and all because... (Iām tempted to say āthe lady loves milktray!ā haha!) ...supposedly being serious here.
All the pain I go through is because I just canāt trust that I am what he wants, that I am enough, and because I canāt believe in his honesty. I donāt condemn him openly. I donāt constantly distrust. Its my schizophrenia, I know this because it does the opposite to what a false belief or a corrupt belief system does to affect our personality, thoughts, behaviour and ability to love and trust others.
I have this belief system to trust my gut, and that would have ruined my chances of trusting anything he told me. Thatās why I gave up with all the accusations I used to put on him.
My Dad used to tell me, after I was officially diagnosed with full blown paranoid schizophrenia (as opposed to early onset schizophrenia) he used to say, you must learn to take people at face value.
Innocent until proven guilty sort of thing, but I always tried to do that and ended up getting fucked over from it. Feeling like a fool for even pretending to believe something I FELT was untrue. I attempted to take intimate relationships at face value, still echo in my mind.
Those times I had suspicions which I put to one side because I tried (and wanted to trust, believe, for it to be true) to take those dickheads at face value, come back to haunt me. āI was fucking onto you, I was right, the entire time you bastard!ā
I canāt trust my gut, or my head and my heart is a bit of a twat too. The only thing left for me to rely on is my sight. My ears lie, my eyes are not too tight, they fuck about showing me things that are not really there, things that might scare me too, but they donāt lie.
āThe Eyes Chico - They Never Lieā - Scarface.
A famous quote from the film that actually signifies, that it doesnāt matter what words are spoken or what people say to you, it doesnāt mean anything what they do or say theyāll do.
Its a way of explaining that even if those things words and actions are convincing, youāll always be able to see their true intentions in their eyes.
To me, I am twisting that phrase to fit my way, to match what I say, to mean something different for me. My eyes will always be able to see true intentions, they wonāt miss a trick so to speak.
I feel like I have to throw caution to the wind, or at least keep my theories under wraps because until I see something for real with my own two eyes, I cannot come to any crazy conclusions or prove them.
If it wasnāt for what I recently saw, Iād still be under the impression that there is someone else coming into our home, looking around our four walls, taking up space which belongs to me. I hate that feeling, like I take weird comfort at times when we have let the house go to ārack and ruinā.
Itās like, if its a mess, dirty and stinks of stale food, smoke and shit. I think he wouldnāt dream of bringing anyone halfādecent into seeing the way we live. He would be embarrassed for her to see that HE would āput up with all thisā. Obviously, the potential āslagā of a female would blame me, another female, for letting my place end up this way.
Iād be judged for not keeping a clean, tidy, nice, or lovely home for my āpoor old manā.
Iāve been sorting myself out somewhat recently and made an effort to clean up, minimize clothes and unnecessary possessions and keep on top of all our stuff. Iāve not let my depression (also diagnosed, along with anxiety and thatās all folks so far as mental health goes.. the rest of my issues lay dormant.
Just the way I like it, until one day I might get tested, until they become detrimental to my quality of life). I know I have much worse psychological conditions but I hit the top of the threshold as a freaky schizophrenic bitch, why keep shooting the target?
I donāt want to be collecting more ābulletsā to shove under my belt. Like, ADHD, cPTSD, Autism, and other such things (like MPD/DID again!) which can cause me to be considered a target for bullies.
I feel like it puts me in a less desirable ābracketā and makes me feel like a fucking write-off as far as the authorities and potential employers.
I feel even more vulnerable in society, and most of all adding weight to my shoulders, self esteem issues feeling like all these things about me are weaknesses. I know it is bullshit, but it still has a knock on effect on what little confidence I can get or even have left.
I donāt look at other people and see those disorders as a bad thing or a cause to consider them flawed. Itās only myself - I have historical conflict with.
I have lived a life under the influence of surviving abuse, neglect, violence, rejection and negative emotions. All this is crucially damaging and really does shape a personās ability to know their own worth and take care of themselves.
I would love to be my own biggest cheerleader one day but with a whole back-catalogue of repetitive experiences, where I have been needed to shield myself from acting certain ways, which are only natural responses to trauma are the emotions in the aftermath.
I have often been guilty of failing to do so - I am a suicide survivor, which makes me feel like a dickhead. Itās the equivalent to ābraggingā about being alive. Same as showing off a āCertificate of Participation for Attending Lifeā.
I am unfortunate in that itās difficult for me to stick up for myself. To be supportive of myself. To stop self-sabotage. I am still so reluctant to start backing myself up to the point of asserting my āauthorityā, expressive MY needs.
Never-mind, building some or brandishing fucking boundaries. It has fucked me up. I have a waterlogged blueprint for the foundations of my fucked up, crumbling architecture of the scaffold of my soul, emotional essence and hard-faced helmet of humanity.
Right now, as I type this, I have tuned out, disassociated and forgotten what I was going on about. Iām just here happy in my home knowing that I can trust myself not to ever take my own life⦠and honestly, Iāve come a long, long way in accomplishing all this.
Fuck an unkempt homestead. Iām alive and wild, feral and unkempt myself but I can handle a shitty smell now and again, a few dirty dishes stacked up, but a wet shower curtain really has begun to fuck my bloody head up until now.
If it wasnāt for the house being cleaned up recently, Iād never have paid attention to what the fuck was happening to cause this āshower sagaā to even come about in my mind. I never pay attention to him as he is pottering about. I have this ability and secret superpower, which is ājust my way of BE-ingā.
Itās weird but itās probably a bi-product symptom of having gone through all that mental health stuff above but I am innately immune to observing another human being going about their business in their own home. I am so magic in my talent for ānot giving a fuck and minding my own businessā (hard to believe? I know!) but, this one day I did pay attention. I was on the toilet when it happened. If it hadnāt, Iād still be in the dark here.
What Iām about to reveal doesnāt eradicate the possibility of him being unfaithful, it just takes away some of the cement surrounding my own intuitive investigatory āevidenceā that I am quietly collating and emotionally contemplating in the small recess of my mind during quiet times.
I donāt interrogate him at all. No confrontation. No plans to present my magnolia file in front of him once itās bursting at the seams. Full of futile findings. What would that really do? How would it benefit me? Like, is he gonna hold his hand up in the air, come clean with eyes like a deer caught in the headlights? Great. Now what?
I canāt be arsed with confessions unless he wants to walk out on me because if he does confess Iāll throw him out faster than he can flick through fucking TikTok on the bog. I swear Iād do it automatically knowing fine well it would be my loss and stuff.
No, I couldnāt bare the reality of him coming clean and making pathetic promises never to cheat on me again. Heād never do that anyway. Heād lie all the way to the very end. Even if he left heād leave me in the dark. He likes to treat me like a mushroom already. Kept in the dark and fed shit.
Running as a microfilm in the background of us having really nice and enjoyable times. It ruins things a little, like rain on the first day of your holiday abroad where the odds of that happening are little to none.
I just so happened to see him with my own eyes do it whilst I was in the house one time. It was him taking the shower off the pole and rinsing the bathtub out before throwing it back on the latch, out of place, after splashing the entire room almost (including the shower curtain) and leaving it wherever it landed.
It was lower down because he was quite the clumsy cunt and a bit of a lazy bastard when it comes to replacing things the way he found them. So, that kind of rules out my theory about him fucking short ass women who like to shower before leaving the home of another womanās man they shagged. I forgive her for not showering, doesnāt mean she doesnāt exist though does it! Fuck him rinsing shit and stuff. What a bastard.
HAhaHAha ;) HAPPY AND GLAD thatās eased a bit of pressure and upset off my mind.
Love you all, bye for now. xx
Finally, wherever weāve been, after getting lost in all that āgood chatā we are now finding our feet back to the meat of this NOTICE OF INTENTION LETTER and talking about his irritating habits (not the shagging of slags one, but that grates too! LOL) his inability to put things back where he finds them, use the bin, or move things heās used. I will be writing about some of those itty-bitty things, and some of mine.
So lets tie all this together as it leads me up to the opening chat TOMORROW night over on THE DAILY CHASE newsletter. Look out for the first letter on my writing sprint. It starts with this ārather dashingā TITLE: (maybe, along these lines?)..x
Strengths, Weaknesses & Balance In Long Term Relationships! (plus Tangents) Music, & more. Whatever!
Join me by Subscribing for FREE or FOLLOWING to find me in your newsfeed when you want to catch up with me. I will be writing on THE DAILY CHASE - starting tomorrow Sunday 22.02.26 up to Saturday 28.02.26 before taking a ten day hiatus break from publishing, social media, and interactions; including messages & emails.
Sorry if you miss me a lot from 1-10 March 2025, keep connected, so, you canāt miss out. REMEMBER: Youāve got 7 days of my letters left before I fuck off for a bit. x
All for your aMUSEmentš
Best Wishes,
ChaseyšDelaneyā¦.x
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