🦋''Melting Clocks in a Barren Setting''💀

INCLUDES:: Music Playlists & 'Private Conversation' by one-sided emails ..xx

Oct 10, 2025

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“There is one thing that I wish for. There is one thing without which my happiness in this world seems impossible. I was not born to live alone. I must have the object with me & in loving & being loved, I could be happy.”
― Anne Lister, The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister

THURSSDAY, 9 October 2025 -

The Persistence of Memory, by Salvador Dali 1931

Dear Chasers!…🦋

This is about as petty as it gets! I reached out to the MUSE in my darkest hours and with no more than four words, in response to a million marred by virtual tears, he tore the last ever strip off my soul that I’m ever going to bend over backwards to let happen ever again. I’m always so fucking willing to lay down and be walked over. He decided to discontinue the conversation after one initial reply of “Hi. How you doing?”

Then after I CHOSE to pour my heart out (again!) he called me out in a public setting. Disregarding my feelings, without consulting me on what I had said, he put me in the firing line in front of his fans and cronies instead.

I get why HE was so petty but the least I deserved was him telling me to my face first. When I say to my face I mean to my emails. He still hasn’t got the balls or inclination to talk to me. His entitlement has soured through the roof. This is the last time his effort to humiliate me will be caused by my own handwriting. I meant every word.

I said to him that I loved him and I do which is why I am too fuming to let it go over my head. I’ve unsubscribed for the final time, and agree he doesn’t ‘OWE’ me a thing, but for someone who values his character as being so fucking wholesome, caring, or even deserving of the people he relies on.

Phew! It’s not only me, I don’t suffer him financially ( but his other victims do who just don’t know they’re being fleeced) - this will prove how much of a fucking cunt he is to people like me. He could have just told me to FUCK OFF or said nothing at all to anything I’d wrote. I understand that to be the basic protocol. Disengagement.

Only the first acknowledgement prompted me to attend to further interaction with him and therefore exposing myself (literally and spiritually) trusting him with more of my personal information. I might have continued to message without invitation. I would never have continued had he told me to leave him alone, stop, don’t, fuck-off or go away.

Saying hello to me was letting me know that I was safe and okay to write to him again. I stand by my own words which usually get deleted. Only this time I saved them in the nick of time. My soul like a melting clock was laid out on the page for his taking, and little did I know my words would land on such a barren setting.

It was only the other day after getting my head punched in (only the once on the back of my head in bed) that I came the following conclusion.

The more I lay down in front of dickheads. The more they will walk all over me. I tried to dress it up when I presented it to myself with the question of ‘Why? - Why lie down?’

A sharp soul like I am shouldn’t settle with soaking up crumbs from butter-knife like people. It’s because as much as I’ve never seen heaven before, I know I want it. I do it because I’m used to it. I prepare myself for hell. I know that whatever I do to hurt myself nobody on this earth could ever match my torment. I retrain myself against the grain to develop resilience to the pain that everyone still inflicts on me.

One day someone else will do the same to them as they are doing to me, and they won’t be ready for it because its never happened to them before. You’d think that for him who has been in abusive relationships before, been scratched up, belittled and cheated on, used for fame or fortune, been played and toyed with by the MUSE he was besotted with - you’d think he’d never be the same way to anyone else.

I believe we become what we know, what we have learned to let go. The last person we loved leaves a little of their spirit within us. We almost imitate their behaviours, their thought patterns, their venomous traits and somehow what we hated about them. We adopt into ourselves. Hurt People Hurt People - Until They Absorb The Pain In Them.

My first email to him is here as follows in its entirety. As we go along we will unravel the problems with it. You can do your own assessment of how I managed to the fuck this all up just for the love of The MUSE. I didn’t think I deserved to be outed in this setting. Maybe taken to one side and given a warning. Otherwise, I can’t see how I’ve done anything wrong?

Email #1

Thanks for being so sparse with your output for your old manifesto. I mean, writing tips, tricks, writing nights with you in the dark with your cock out listening to wine and drinking music! 😛 I know you’re busy on bigger frying bigger fish, not much time for us mere mouthfuls but like scampi I’m a ‘scavenger’ for your time still.. A predator for your presence (and your arse!) -see attached screenshot for elaboration (we both know you won’t waste your time looking). Fuck it.

Are you happy these days? Your thumbnails are top tier tear jerkers for my poor lil ginge soul! ;)

I attached a bunch of random shit. The almost ‘tits’ pic in my white feather tree branch t-shirt (so similar to the one you used to wear) was taken 5 mins or so before sending this. as you can see I’m a mess and need you back on my radar. is it too late to start over?

Can you come out to play with me tonight? Come LIVE with me. *VIDEO-CALL* baby… you kicking back with your pants off. I promise to behave. Seriously, I have a lot of writing to catch up with. You can take a break from the large-as-life POND and cum paddle in your wee pool over here on your platform.

I forgot to tell you things. You can write about me live while I’m there with you probably writing about you too. I miss you so much.

I loved you but it was something of a phenomenon called ‘parasocial interactions’. Look it up for your ‘chasey *project*’.

PLEASE REPLY - Q: are you in a proper relationship now? Do I have to fuck off before you get pissed off? If not, I could learn to love you again.. HAhaHA..x381..xXxxx

Spotify playlists

1. fuck the link you wont listen

2. fuck the link my lists are shit

3. fuck you for not being there for me.

4. fuck life everything is shit when you’re not in it with me.

PS: i forgot what the ps is.... hang on! Oh yeah, the other day when I said hello on live stream you said hi. When you said goodbye to everyone by name, you said ‘not heard from you in ages [One of HIS Creations* Name]!! hahahapmsl.. I’m always on your mind as this BUtch HardToasted Defective! I love you baby. PS I know im not [That NAME] from your [Creation], unless you fucking manifested me in 2003 >>>

“I betchooooo deeeeed you deeed say you love me you DID.” x

THIS IS WHERE HE REPLIED WITH: “HI. HOW YOU DOING?”

Email #2

oh MUSE, if only you knew how much I’ve missed you! I’m so sorry for coming back here again. I’m fine by the way, thanks for asking. Everything now in my house is tiptop tea-total but it’s so boring without waiting for you like I used to. I’m not allowed to join the *CULT* (somewhere I’ve been before) because HE caught that voice message I sent you on Instagram.

The last ever DM between us that you, my friend, didn’t fucking ‘see’ before I had to un-send it. It said, (and I’m paraphrasing most of it).. something like:

“no matter how bad you might feel, or how shit life treats you, remember who you are and how fucking beautiful you are, but if you forget all you need to do is look down at your cock, you’ll always rock! you’ll always be the best because of what you have got in your pants”.

Now, I’m pretty certain I didn’t say it all exactly like that or I might not be alive to tell the tale now! He heard me ‘flirting’ and decided I’ve shown myself up to you. He said that even though it wasn’t seen - you might have heard it from your notifications.

I meant it.

I mean it now.

There’s you just doing you everyday life, like washing the dishes in sweet yellow marigolds, bubbles up to your armpits, humming a bangin’ tune... then bOOm ITCHY NOSE! (I’m that itchy nose).. annoying, bad timing, irritating but OMG you can’t touch it through the soapy rubbers, so you nudge it with the skin on your arm and FUCK ME the relief when you scratch it is so fucking niiiiiiice you’re glad you did it.

Thanks for saying Hi.. I’m delighted and will read so much into it. From the Capital H’s the full stop and the ‘questionmation’ mark. !?!! It is either a predictive response, or some other bitch in your inbox. Either that or you truly are grown up now! Big boy... come play with me anytime. Don’t be a stranger.

Ok, I’ve not long woken up, got summoned to bed early last night (like the demon I am LOL). I have more to tell you about being ‘pied’ as in ‘’rejected’‘ by a poet you may know of and just normal stuff, like the man I love phoning me from the top of a big ‘jumpers’ building and videoing the drop, general trauma like that, an old man who used to advise me, saw my fat face unfiltered drunk and messy, dropped me like it was NOT hot! aha.. I know you’re too busy now but we should keep in touch.

I promise I will be so good. I’m not a monster (just look like one) I’ve been doing work ‘on myself’ like head work you know? I swear you can see the difference! I even have a bigger 6 pack on my forehead! (Fod) hahah.. baby I love you, tell me if I’m not allowed to say that to you anymore and I promise to say it EVEN MORE! xx

MUSIC PLAYLISTS💔curated by Chasey Delaney:

Come To My World - Private Chaser Playlist

Equinox Inside My Heart - (its a movement) lol

its better with you (made this last night) 6.10.25

Email #3

Im sorry for everything I wrote while my medication had ran out. I’m not actually happy at all. I’m putting on the bravado to stop myself sounding soft, desperate and battered. I deserve it I know that but you don’t. Take it easy x

LOOK what you’d be missing LOLLOLLOL Yes! It is A JOKE! haha

Email #4

I don’t want to be of any trouble to you MUSE. I caught some of your [conversations] today 8oct. the [boring one]. I heard your q&a about doing more of your [work]. It made me feel guilty for what I said about leaving us on the back-burner. I do miss your [blank], I find your enthusiasm for ‘writing’ and your knowledge and encouragement on ‘writing’ very contagious.

Maybe, I’m just bias because I find you infectiously delicious.

I hang on every word you say when you’re ‘into it’‘.. I worry about your mood, I know you’‘re in work mode, business head space, a good place, a top place to be - but I feel like its taken all the soul out of you. Like you’re on a mission to raise all these massive amounts of money for ‘’projects’‘ that probably cost less than half that price!

- I’m out of order for saying this but I feel like your hands are tied behind your cock and you’re aiming above and beyond to provide your Misses with all those luxuries in life that she wants -

Like::: big expensive day trips, make up, handbags and gladrags but you know what? ‘tis none of my business….. :P

I just watch those [MEMORIES} from back when you and me were in circulation LOL

“…..like when we were in contact. When I was infatuated. I look back at those and I still felt it. Its not me, it was you. You were kind and funny and beautiful and honest and gorgeous and - I know you weren’t always happy back then, coming out of your own MUSE relationship.. but you were stunning and raw and soft and loving.”

Now you’re coming across more hard faced and a bit too abrasive. Your eyes look more lost now than they did back then. I can’t talk, I got punched in the back of my head in bed last night. That’s why I called it off between YOU & me in my previous email. I bailed out.. LOL ….I’m laughing at my way of wording it... I know all it is that’s half happening is I’m writing to you, reaching out.

For the record, I’m not deluded.

We didn’t have anything.

I like to pretend you felt it ... like I did.

“I was this close .. I touched it” from- Robin Hood Men IN TIghts.- a Movie Quote.

I’m only pissed off with my home life because I do still love him and it hurts like fuck that he doesn’t elevate me like you would. It kills me to look into his eyes and see nothing. I’m not trying to get you to be kind to me again. I’m not trying to do anything at all. I want to love someone who will see me. Who will help me love myself.

I KNOW THATS NEVER YOU. pmsl

I just fancy the arse off you.

I know your life would be a heart-attack on a plate for me. ..BUT..

“..I just wish we were close enough in GPS where we’d be friends. I would come cuddle up in your bed wirth you when you’re single and we could write at night together. I have a whole world mapped out for us spaced over a few hours at a time, between dusk and dawn. I am allowed to love you. All of your shitty little nasty ways.. all of your hatred or indifference towards me.. i can love your senseless misunderstanding of me, because I see something beautiful behind those dead set eyes.. I see your mind and it’s allllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvve ! x..”

PS don’t tell anyone.. its violent now.. I can hold my own.

“…..I deserved the crack in the head because I thought he was secretly on his phone and he was shouting at me because he knew I couldn’t sleep even though my eyes were closed and i was as still as stone. It made me paranoid why he wouldn’t let me get up and write, or take a bath, or grab a glass of water, or smoke a fag…”

He demanded I get myself to sleep and laid down the law about me not being able to drink coffee anymore, how i have to go bed before 11:00 pm in future, shouting about me being a horrible cunt for not being asleep by now (then).. HE’s JUST a CUNT some of the time. I mean, I’d like to believe that most men would tell me to get up and do what I want until I’m tired enough to sleep. Or at the best of my imagination fuck me until I’m too spent to blink. Spent??? hahahahhha

...and suddently along came ‘Bronte’. Like when I’m in a public place and have a bit of an anxiety attack and don’t want to stay.. like at the doctors, or an interview or whatever.. along comes my historical fictional character.. and my manc accent ebbs away.. into a rough whispered- yet high pitched apologetic demand and i say shit i’ve never said in my life before like “I’m sorry something has arisen, “MUST DASH!” :))

As I was saying... YOU wouldn’t make me stay in bed with insomnia. Someone else might even get up with me and make us coffee and we write until the daylight and HE is so nasty about me being awake (if he was so fucking tired why ain’t he sleeping?).

He demands me to go to bed when he says so. I do get allowed to have a smoke but he kicks me out the bed if I do. HE takes all my devices off me - even the fucking light bulbs so I can’t even write with a biro and book! Proper Cunt to me, but me being so fucked up, thinks all sorts of bad scenarios. Like: he wants me sleeping so he can be speaking to a GIRL and wanking with her with his back to me.

When one thing is off about my relationship, it makes me question everything about it. Like, he lied about speaking to the crazy old woman the other day about her neighbour who has cats.

So now I’m in a thought-cycle of watching his sneezes and clearing his throat every time he comes home from ‘’ the gym’‘ and I’m thinking .. he’s fucking that woman’s neighbour who has cats because he is allergic to cats and he is always at the gym and always coming in with puffy eyes and sneezing.. I can’t prove anything.

But then tiny things begin to become untrustworthy.

Like a stray sock near the toilet on the floor, I’m thinking is that a cum sock? or if my knickers go missing.. ‘has SHE robbed them?’‘ its stupid but he plants seeds knowingly or not. I also struggle with my conscience . I want it to be clean and good. I genuinely love you. but I can’t tell you about how much I want to fuck you because that’s badly cheating. Love isn’t. It’s the ultimate sin but not cheating.

On that note.... I hope you feel me. I hope you can steal some time away for me. I hope my daft talking gives you some kind of something useful. I’m not being a dickhead MUSE. I like to think I’m being helpful to your psychology/ like spiritually / to me you are God’s Gift. but in reality:::::::

‘’I’m just a fucked up girl trying to find her own peace of mind” - Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind. Movie Quotes.

He’s been singing alright… singing like a fucking canary (isn’t that how the saying goes?) Well that’s it for me. He’s gone, I’ve fucked him off now, no key to my hurt no more, alas I will learn to love somebody else, and myself, and my writing. Goodnight.